Why do we need deadlines when we’re setting goals? How important are they and what do we need to know about them? Here are five key tips to help you get deadlines into perspective.

Tip #1. Every major goal needs a deadline. Why? Because if you don’t know when you need to get to your goal, then how do you know how long to spend on each step? A time plan is just as important as an action plan.

Tip #2. Every step along the way needs its own deadline. If you are breaking your major goals down into chunks, or action steps; and you should be; then each one of those steps needs its own time limit, so that you know exactly how long to spend on it.

Tip #3. Deadlines must be realistic. Goal setters tend to fall into two types; stretchers and plodders. The stretchers are the ones constantly pushing themselves to do better, do more, go faster. Stretchers tend to set very tight deadlines that put them under pressure. This gives them satisfaction because they are always competing against themselves.

Plodders take the slow and steady approach and set long deadlines that they know they can hit. They don’t thrive on pressure; they would rather be sure of success.

Whichever type you are all you need to do is make sure that your deadline takes into account your abilities, your available time and all the other things you need to do in your life. Don’t aim to write your novel by the end of the week, if you have to spend 12 hours a day looking after your young children. Be realistic.

Tip #4. Be tough on your small deadlines, but more flexible on your big ones. In many ways, hitting the time targets on your individual action steps is more important than hitting the deadline on your major goal. Here’s why.

If you are too laid back about getting each action done, you start to get laid back about the whole plan and before you know it, you’ll be making excuses, getting distracted and watching your great dream fade into the distance. If you allow every action step to overrun, then the final deadline will be massively extended and might never happen.

Push yourself to meet your short term aims and you’ll be amazed at how much more satisfaction, self esteem and extra motivation you’ll gain each time you cross off a step along the way.

Tip #5. Be prepared to move the final deadline. If you can be disciplined about the little time goals, then don’t worry too much if the major deadline is a little late. It can be tough at the outset to accurately predict how long your big goals will take. You can’t foresee every setback or change of plan. Missing a major deadline is not a failure, provided you have consistently taken action since day one and provided you still have your goal in sight.

Keep doing what you’re doing. You’ll be there real soon and never forget that wherever you are now, you’ve come a huge distance from where you started. And will all that said I hope our website admin Glen gets the new planned website upgrade rolling soon!

Labels: all, goal, lifeline, motivation, tips

read the rest of this entry »

Every year during the summer months a number of Chicagoans get killed because of gang violence. The politicians are always called upon to do "something." The most "media friendly" thing to do is to blame it all on gun ownership.

The media had a great time this month covering all the anti gun marches. They were staged by, none other than the "King of Political Correctness," Rev. Jesse Jackson, aided by his comrade, the pastor of Saint Sabina Church, Father Michael Pfleger. Chicago's Mayor, Richard M. Daley, threw in some anti gun rants of his own, while TV cameras rolled.

On one occasion Jackson and Pfleger marched on Chuck's Gun Shop in Riverdale. According to several sources, Father Pfleger twice threatened to "snuff out" the owner of the store. I'm all for free speech, but it's interesting how hypocritical "political correctness" can be. Don Imus just made a bad choice of words on his radio show. His mistake was spread by the media throughout the world and eventually resulted in his firing. Father Pfleger, on the other hand, threatened to kill a law abiding citizen, yet there was very little mention of it in the media. It seems that if you're on the "pro-media" side, you are allowed freedom of speech, otherwise, your reputation could be ruined.

Another headline grabbing program was the plea to turn in your gun at designated churches and police stations with no questions asked. For this good deed you would get a one hundred dollar debit MasterCard.

On Saturday July 22, 2007 the city of Chicago, collected 6700 guns from its citizens. This "event" gave the local media days of the "heart wrenching" news coverage they crave. According to the media, this year, Chicago's gun turn-in program was the largest ever, even beating all other gun turn-in programs throughout the country.

There are several reasons why I think such programs are bad for America.

1. The guns are turned in anonymously. Some of the guns could have been used in the commission of capital crimes. It will be harder to prosecute someone if the weapon he committed the crime with was turned over to the city and destroyed.

2. Guns that are old and don't work well can be turned in to get a down payment to buy a more modern weapon.

3. Instead of destroying all the guns, some may wind up as police secondary weapons known also as "throw aways." Recent events have shown that the Chicago Police Department can't be trusted.

4. Hardened criminals, who aren't concerned with ditching the evidence, will never turn in their guns.

5. Statistically, gun turn in programs do not reduce crime.

God-given rights are protected by the U.S. Constitution. One of the God-given rights is the right to life. It, then follows, that you have the right to protect your life. In the modern world, gun ownership is a reasonable means of protecting your life from criminal elements. Chicago's law prohibiting gun ownership in the city is not only unconstitutional, but violates a God-given right to protect one's self.

Chicago leaders insist that we can adequately be protected by the Chicago Police Department. This month the media discovered the existence of a list of hundreds of police officers that had more than ten complaints from the public. Recently, there were officers on trial for robbing drug dealers, beating up a female bar tender, and assorted other night club incidents. I've been told by a former policeman that there are a lot of alcoholic officers out there, but related statistics are hard to find. With such a reputation, it's hard to believe that the current police force can effectively act as our "guardian angels."

Even if the police force is perfect, officers only arrive after the crime has been committed. Having a weapon can deter the criminal and save our lives and the lives of our loved ones. Chicago's law, however, makes it illegal to save your own life if it's done with a firearm.

Taking guns off the streets does not reduce crime, but doing the opposite works a lot better. Everywhere concealed carry laws (laws that allow ordinary citizens to carry weapons) have been enacted the crime rate plummeted. Guns in the hands of reasonable people lower crime.

Kennesaw, Georgia is known as "Gun Town USA." In March 1982 the small town of Kennesaw unanimously passed an ordinance requiring each head of household to own and maintain a gun. Kennesaw's law was amended in 1983 to exclude convicted felons, those who conscientiously object to firearm ownership, and those with a mental or physical disability that would make firearm ownership dangerous. The crime rate fell after this law was passed, and even though the population grew five fold, the crime rate is still lower than the pre-1982 rate. This town has also remained murder free during the past twenty-five years.

Realistically, Kennesaw doesn't have street gangs like Chicago. The citizens of Chicago haven't been able to legally own guns since 1982, yet gang related shootings are still common. It is illogical for Chicago officials to think that stricter gun laws are going to stop the gangs. Gangs don't care about the law, and they'll still be able to get as many guns as they want. On the other hand, law abiding citizens have to depend on Chicago's highly flawed police force for their protection.

For the record, I don't personally own a gun. I've fired a rifle many years ago when I was in the airforce. Right now, I carry a small can of mace as protection. One day, I expect the city's control-freak lawmakers to even ban the mace. If it were legal, I'd get a small pistol and carry it in addition to the mace. I'd learn everything about my weapon and periodically go to a gun range so that I could practice hitting my intended target properly. Ever since I've been carrying my mace(30 years), I've never had to use it. The same would hold true if I was carrying a gun. The difference would be that I'd have a stronger sense of safety and more peace of mind.

It's time for Chicago politicians and preachers to wise up. Reverend Jackson, Father Pfleger, and you too Mayor Daley, more gun control will not affect the carnage. The nature of our corporate alien society is what drives the gangs. Rising poverty, dissolution of the family, "politically correct" schools, and "audience hungry" media are some of the real factors that need to be addressed

Labels: all, gangs, guns, opinion, politics, rant

read the rest of this entry »

Have you ever asked yourself “why do some people just find it so easy to talk” I have stood back so many times and just watched people talk. They looked so natural. It seemed so easy for them.

As for public speakers – well they were just in another league. How could they just stand there in front of so many people and the words flow out of their mouths so easily, the confidence they oozed.

It just wasn’t fair. How did I end up with the stumbling, speechless mouth?

This was my belief for many years. That was until I started to really really want to conquer this communication thing. I wanted to find out why I was different. I started searching and asking questions and found that I wasn’t so different.

Most public speakers I have talked to said they were so nervous before they did their speech, even the ones I thought were brilliant, I overheard asking for reassurance as they left the podium “was I ok, did you hear the bit when………., I stuffed that up” etc etc.

As for one on one conversations when someone knew no one, I found out that people usually have 2 or 3 key questions they ask before the conversation starts to flow. For example, hi I’m ……… do you mind if I join you? Or hi I’m …………. isn’t this a great party/meeting/event ……..……

So I started to really, really listen and observe how people looked so natural. I slowly stepped forward and started talking, I built up my confidence and soon talking became so much more natural. I reflected back and realized the following:

I had put all the fear in to my own head. There were many people who felt the same way.

I asked myself these key questions. What am I afraid of. What is the worst thing that can happen if I speak up?

I thought back to my childhood, what had happened all that time ago that could have affected me for so long. It was quite simple really. As a child I was told “children should be seen and not heard”. I was raised in a family where we were not allowed to have an opinion as children and if we said anything, “out of line” we were punished!

So I learned to “shut up”.

Fast forward to adulthood, in my subconscious I still had the thought that if I said the wrong thing at the wrong time then it would cause conflict. I am still not a confrontational person, I love peace not war.

So instead of saying the wrong thing, I said nothing. In a group or big crowd, I would so want to contribute so badly, but my fear kept me paralyzed. Until I asked myself those key questions What am I afraid of? What is the worst thing that can happen?

So I stepped outside of my comfort zone and took the first step. I opened my mouth and talked!! I have never looked back. Now I can speak up in front of people, even in a crowd. Saying that though, I still do not speak up if I feel there will be confrontation. This is something I still need to learn to deal with and feel comfortable with. I have no hesitation now asking a question or becoming involved in any conversation that I feel comfortable in. In fact I am finding it fun and surprising myself by becoming quite the chatterbox!!

So ask yourself “why can’t I say what I really want to say”? It is only sounds coming out of your mouth that make words

Are you afraid of the words, or are you afraid of the consequence and what may occur if you say what you really want to?

Ask yourself “what is the worst thing that can happen if I say this?” Expect the best outcome (9/10 times the worst never ever happens) and

Face your fear.

Labels: all, fear, lifeline, motivation, tips

read the rest of this entry »

Have you ever wondered why liberals are in favor of more gun control laws? Looking past the obvious and stated arguments put forward by liberals (crime, etc.) we delve into the minds of liberals – offering a few possibilities for their strange behavior.

Liberals tend to be in favor of reducing personal responsibility while increasing the responsibility of government to look after the welfare of people. This is seen in the liberal position on abortion (why should a woman be held responsible for her actions – just kill the unborn baby), gun control (people don’t kill - guns kill), welfare (people can’t earn money – give it to them), etc. Is it possible the liberal thought process is more like that of a child than an adult? Is it possible that liberals are merely children who have never fully developed adult thought processes?

Just as liberals attempt to remove responsibility away from the individual - children are not quick to take responsibility for their actions. However, liberals are clever enough to attempt to disguise their positions with interesting (but childish) arguments. For example, a woman’s lack of personal responsibility and subsequent accountability has been cleverly disguised as “a woman’s right to choose”. This type of reasoning makes little sense to the educated mind.

Seen again in the welfare debate – liberals attempt to diminish personal responsibility by suggesting the government give people money – simply because they don’t work. Again, the unstated assertion is that people should not be held responsible for having a job and earning money – they should be cared for by others.

While the arguments in favor of more gun control tend to revolve around crime, the assertion is that crimes would not be committed if there were no guns. Any fully developed adult mind will quickly recognize this argument as childish. However, there are a large number of adults in this world (known as liberals) who hold these views and attempt to convince others of their validity.

Regardless of the argument, the question remains – why would any adult with a fully developed mind attempt to convince others of these childish ideas? Even worse, how can an adult – with a fully developed mind – believe these childish ideas? Perhaps we’ll never know the answers to these questions. However, as science progresses and research methods become more sophisticated – answers will be revealed.

Labels: all, opinion, politics

read the rest of this entry »

You know it’s over – maybe both of you do – but how do you find the courage to break a relationship up?

As well as the worry that you’ll hurt the other person, there’s also the fear that you won’t cope with the tidal wave of emotion you imagine you’ll feel too.

Here are some tips on how to avoid the “break relationship up” blues!

First – let’s face a stark fact. When a relationship breaks up people hurt. And relationships don’t break up on their own – someone has to do it! Very rarely is it by mutual agreement, and even if both of you do agree it’s time to go, chances are one of you will be more reluctant than the other.

The truth, however, is that keeping someone in a relationship that is no longer loving is hurting them anyway. And they probably know. They may bury their head in the proverbial sand, but it’s very rare that a lover doesn’t sense something’s wrong. The sooner you find a way to mention that maybe it’s time to break the relationship up, the sooner you put them out of that misery. Things start to add up in their head and you have the satisfaction of having been honest.

Secondly, act as quickly as you can. To minimize pain for both of you don’t hang on until it’s “convenient” for you to go, and don’t back pedal by having a conversation about patching things up. Make a clean break. If there’s ever going to be hope of starting again, don’t leave jagged edges! They’re sharp and dangerous and can hurt both of you for a lot longer than a clean break.

And what about you? Being the one to break the relationship up brings not only pain but added guilt. You did it – and you have to live with yourself.

Here’s how to think of it. First, you were already hurting because you wouldn’t have been moving on if things were working, would you? Would you give a faulty or broken tool to your best friend? Of course you wouldn’t! Inflicting your unhappy self on the person who’s been closest to you in this phase of your life is equivalent to forcing faulty or tacky goods on someone when you know it’s broken and you wouldn’t have it. Get your head around this and you’ll see that you’d have more guilt staying!

Secondly, just because you were the one to break the relationship up doesn’t mean you don’t hurt too. Let yourself grieve – you’re entitled to. (For a complete self help guide on healing from heartbreak go to my website – details later)

Finally, I will pass on a thought to you that I have found very helpful over the years. Unfortunately I can’t remember where I heard or read it, so if the author is reading – thank you!

Here’s the thought: Some people come into your life for a reason, some for a season and some for a lifetime.

You are not under obligation to stay together. You are under obligation to stay happy, and that includes doing the kindest thing for your partner too. He or she has the same entitlement.

If it’s time to break the relationship up, face it and …. break the relationship up!

Labels: all, lifeline, relationship, tips

read the rest of this entry »

If you’re reading this, you're aging right now! You may not notice it, but you are. We're aging all the time, right from the moment we are born. As we grow from babyhood to childhood, and then into our teenage years, the changes in our body are spectacular and complex.

When we make that great shift out of our teenage years into our twenties, most of the changes we encounter about growing older are good. Whe we are in our twenties, growing older means a lot more freedom and a lot of adventure. Physically, we are at our peak of perfection. In our thirties, we are starting to enjoy many of the benefits of growing older as we accumulate more wisdom and in most cases, continue to have a body and a brain that’s still in great shape.

But there comes a time, perhaps in our fifth decade, or in our sixth, when growing older starts to have some negative effects we don’t really like. We may not be as physically fit as we used to be. We start to get sags and bags. We get aches and pains. We may be showing some forgetfulness.

Our beautiful perfection of youth is gone.

Why do we age?

Over the centuries, people have often wondered how it is that our bodies grow and develop from a tiny fertilized egg, to a newborn baby, to a young child, then a teenager and, finally, a young adult. A huge number of very complex changes within our bodies must happen perfectly in order to achieve this.

Once we grow into our adult perfection, why can’t we just stay there? Why do we have to age?

And can we stop it?

Doctors and scientists used to take aging for granted. Scientists used to think that because aging was a natural process, there was no need to investigate it.

Now, as increasing numbers of baby boomers are turning fifty, anxious to hang on to some semblance of youth, more and more research is being devoted to the topic of aging.

Scientists are trying to find out how and why we age, and they are investigating possible ways to slow down the aging process, or perhaps even stop it altogether.

If new ways are found to extend physical and mental health for the aging population, the benefits to society will be enormous.

Although all of us want to live a long time, none of us wants to spend our final years in physical pain or suffering from mental decline.

Scientists have been able to identify some of the factors that influence the process of aging, and new knowledge is accumulating at a rapid rate. Dozens of theories to explain aging have been proposed, but it seems that aging is a very complex, and several processes are interlinked.

Here are some of the current theories about why we age:

Hayflick Limit Theory – Two scentists in the 1960s noticed that many human cells would divide a limited number of times, then stop. If the cells were well fed, they divided faster. Body cells may have a built-in genetic program that tells them not to reproduce anymore.

Free Radical Theory - Free radicals are molecules or atoms that have an unpaired electron. In order to be electrically balanced, these molecules or atoms will grab an electron from a nearby atom, thereby creating another free radical, eventually resulting in a cascading chain of damage to cells and organs.

Free radical formation may not account for all the symptoms of aging, but it probably does play an important part in accelerating cellular damage. Free radicals are unavoidable. They are an inevitable consequence of living in a physical body. However, there are steps we can take to slow down free radical damage, such as avoiding pollutants, and eating a lot of fresh fruits and vegetables.

The Telomere Theory – Telomeres are special types of chemicals that seem to have some ability to protect the chromosomes inside our cells. Every time our cells divide, the telemeres become shorter and less able to protect the chromosome. This may explain why the cells eventually become damaged and die. Scientists are currently trying to find out how to repair telomeres and stop the damage to the cells.

Glycation – When proteins in your body react with excess blood sugar, the proteins become damaged. This process is known as "glycation". These sugar-damaged proteins may contribute to the breakdown of many other systems in the body. People who have diabetes or problems with insulin resistance are particularly vulnerable to glycation damage because of abnormalities in their blood sugar levels.

If it turns out to be true that glycation plays a major part in causing the negative effects of aging, we may be able to slow it down by making sure we avoid excess blood sugar levels.

Here are some other factors that play a part in aging:

- We experience a steep decline in hormone production in our later years
- Our body becomes less efficient at detoxifying
- The DNA in our cells becomes damaged
- A life time of exposure to stress and environmental toxins in our air, food and water overwhelms our body's repair systems.

These are some of the explanations for why we age, but it's not yet a complete picture. At the present time, we don't yet know all the reasons for this process. And so far, there is no single magic bullet to stop it.

Labels: all, health, lifeline

read the rest of this entry »

Have you ever felt that incredible weight of the world on your shoulders, spinning out of hand? I’m here to show you ways to relieve that overwhelming feeling of stress that just sends you reeling into the pit of doom.

1. Step back and find the humor.

Today I was visiting with a friend, after several months of missing her. I mentioned that my son was out of control these days, and we talked about how we’d both threatened our sons with not making their next birthday if they didn’t settle down. Neither of us would do anything to hurt our sons, and they know that. But suddenly we both felt the humor in our empty threats. Their behavior seemed less extreme and we knew we’d be able to get through the next moment because we were laughing at the last moments.

2. Go ahead and cry your heart out.

Tears are cleansing. Allow your tears to wipe clean the heavy burdens you’ve carried. Accept that part of life as what it is and move past the stressor to a new step. Sometimes we forget the blessing of rain upon dry land. When the storms come, the land may be barren, but as sure as the raindrops fall, there’s life beneath the surface.

3. Focus on the tasks at hand.

Sometimes we focus so much on the issues that we forget our work to be done right now. When we let go of the issues and stressors; we give them to God so we can turn our focus back to what has to be done right now. Living in the moment often reduces our stress. When we can’t change the past, and the future is just out of reach, we can stay focused on the moment and life becomes simpler.

4. Stay the course.

When stress dumps on us, we’re often tempted to make radical changes in our lives, adding more stress onto the heap of changes that we have to deal with at that moment. But we don’t have to react to stress with more stress. If we choose in that moment of time to simply stay the course, do what has to be done to deal with whatever issues we’re faced with and keep our course the same, the results are two fold. We remove additional stressors. And we give ourselves time to get past one stressful time before we must stress again.

5. Chuck the stress.

You know you want to chuck it. So, for the moment, do just exactly that. Chuck all the stress and go for a walk, take the kids for ice cream, get a manicure, give yourself a pedicure, but do something that totally distracts you long enough to clear your mind and focus on the issue. There are times when this isn’t a realistic suggestion, but other times, this is the only solution that even remotely is feasible. Look it over, if nobody is bleeding, nobody is dying, chuck the stress for some instant gratification and then go back and face your lions with a fresh face.

Labels: all, lifeline, tips

read the rest of this entry »