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23 November 2007

Since everyone seems too busy to post on this blog I've decided to take the time and post this list of usefull advice and tips on how optimise your habit for better learning. To some people reaching the goal to be a successfull person is on the top of their list, so what ever you define as "success" in your life, this list of tips and advice should help you reach your goal(s).

And with all that in mind, we should also consiter what Glenn said in some of his earlyer blogpost, "reading something and learning about it doesnt make you an expert on the subject... you have to take part in your studies and get involved in what ever you are trying to understand."




Health


  1. Shake a leg. Lack of blood flow is a common reason for lack of concentration. If you've been sitting in one place for awhile, bounce one of your legs for a minute or two. It gets your blood flowing and sharpens both concentration and recall.
  2. Food for thought: Eat breakfast. A lot of people skip breakfast, but creativity is often optimal in the early morning and it helps to have some protein in you to feed your brain. A lack of protein can actually cause headaches.
  3. Food for thought, part 2: Eat a light lunch. Heavy lunches have a tendency to make people drowsy. While you could turn this to your advantage by taking a "thinking nap" (see #23), most people haven't learned how.
  4. Cognitive enhancers: Ginkgo biloba. Ginkgo biloba is a natural supplement that has been used in China and other countries for centuries and has been reputed to reverse memory loss in rats. It's also suggested by some health practitioners as a nootrope and thus a memory enhancer.
  5. Reduce stress + depresssion. Stress and depression may reduce the ability to recall information and thus inhibit learning. Sometimes, all you need to reduce depression is more white light and fewer refined foods.


Balance


  1. Sleep on it. Dr. Maxwell Maltz wrote about in his book Psycho-Cybernetics about a man who was was paid good money to come up with ideas. He would lock his office door, close the blinds, turn off the lights. He'd focus on the problem at hand, then take a short nap on a couch. When he awoke, he usually had the problem solved.
  2. Take a break. Change phyical or mental perspective to lighten the invisible stress that can sometimes occur when you sit in one place too long, focused on learning. Taking a 5-15 minute break every hour during study sessions is more beneficial than non-stop study. It gives your mind time to relax and absorb information. If you want to get really serious with breaks, try a 20 minute ultradian break as part of every 90 minute cycle. This includes a nap break, which is for a different purpose than #23.
  3. Take a hike. Changing your perspective often relieves tension, thus freeing your creative mind. Taking a short walk around the neighborhood may help.
  4. Change your focus. Sometimes there simply isn't enough time to take a long break. If so, change subject focus. Alternate between technical and non-technical subjects.


Perspective and Focus


  1. Change your focus, part 2. There are three primary ways to learn: visual, kinesthetic, and auditory. If one isn't working for you, try another.
  2. Do walking meditation. If you're taking a hike (#25), go one step further and learn walking meditation as a way to tap into your inner resources and your strengthen your ability to focus. Just make sure you're not walking inadvertently into traffic.
  3. Focus and immerse yourself. Focus on whatever you're studying. Don't try to watch TV at the same time or worry yourself about other things. Anxiety does not make for absorption of information and ideas.
  4. Turn out the lights. This is a way to focus, if you are not into meditating. Sit in the dark, block out extraneous influences. This is ideal for learning kinesthetically, such as guitar chord changes.
  5. Take a bath or shower. Both activities loosen you up, making your mind more receptive to recognizing brilliant ideas.


Recall Techniques


  1. Listen to music. Researchers have long shown that certain types of music are a great "key" for recalling memories. Information learned while listening to a particular song or collection can often be recalled simply by "playing" the songs mentally.
  2. Speedread. Some people believe that speedreading causes you to miss vital information. The fact remains that efficient speedreading results in filtering out irrelevant information. If necessary, you can always read and re-read at slower speeds. Slow reading actually hinders the ability to absorb general ideas. (Although technical subjects often requirer slower reading.) If you're reading online, you can try the free Spreeder Web-based application.
  3. Use acronyms and other mnemonic devices. Mnemonics are essentially tricks for remembering information. Some tricks are so effective that proper application will let you recall loads of mundane information years later.


Visual Aids


  1. Every picture tells a story. Draw or sketch whatever it is you are trying to achieve. Having a concrete goal in mind helps you progress towards that goal.
  2. Brainmap it. Need to plan something? Brain maps, or mind maps, offer a compact way to get both an overview of a project as well as easily add details. With mind maps, you can see the relationships between disparate ideas and they can also act as a receptacle for a brainstorming session.
  3. Learn symbolism and semiotics. Semiotics is the study of signs and symbols. Having an understanding of the symbols of a particular discipline aids in learning, and also allows you to record information more efficiently.
  4. Use information design. When you record information that has an inherent structure, applying information design helps convey that information more clearly. A great resource is Information Aesthetics, which gives examples of information design and links to their sources.
  5. Use visual learning techniques. Try gliffy for structured diagrams. Also see Inspiration.com for an explanation of webs, idea maps, concept maps, and plots.
  6. Map your task flow. Learning often requires gaining knowledge in a specific sequence. Organizing your thoughts on what needs to be done is a powerful way to prepare yourself to complete tasks or learn new topics.


Verbal and Auditory Techniques


  1. Stimulate ideas. Play rhyming games, utter nonsense words. These loosen you up, making you more receptive to learning.
  2. Brainstorm. This is a time-honored technique that combines verbal activity, writing, and collaboration. (One person can brainstorm, but it's more effective in a group.) It's fruitful if you remember some simple rules: Firstly, don't shut anyone's idea out. Secondly, don't "edit" in progress; just record all ideas first, then dissect them later. Participating in brainstorming helps assess what you already know about something, and what you didn't know.
  3. Learn by osmosis. Got an iPod? Record a few of your own podcasts, upload them to your iPod and sleep on it. Literally. Put it under your pillow and playback language lessons or whatever.
  4. Cognitive enhancers: binaural beats. Binaural beats involve playing two close frequencies simultaneously to produce alpha, beta, delta, and theta waves, all of which produce either sleeping, restfulness, relaxation, meditativeness, alertness, or concentration. Binaural beats are used in conjunction with other excercises for a type of super-learning.
  5. Laugh. Laughing relaxes the body. A relaxed body is more receptive to new ideas.


Kinesthetic Techniques


  1. Write, don't type. While typing your notes into the computer is great for posterity, writing by hand stimulates ideas. The simple act of holding and using a pen or pencil massages acupuncture points in the hand, which in turn stimulates ideas.
  2. Carry a quality notebook at all times. Samuel Taylor Coleridge dreamed the words of the poem "In Xanadu (did Kubla Khan)...". Upon awakening, he wrote down what he could recall, but was distracted by a visitor and promptly forgot the rest of the poem. Forever. If you've been doing "walking meditation" or any kind of meditation or productive napping, ideas may suddenly come to you. Record them immediately.
  3. Keep a journal. This isn't exactly the same as a notebook. Journaling has to do with tracking experiences over time. If you add in visual details, charts, brainmaps, etc., you have a much more creative way to keep tabs on what you are learning.
  4. Organize. Use sticky colored tabs to divide up a notebook or journal. They are a great way to partition ideas for easy referral.
  5. Use post-it notes. Post-it notes provide a helpful way to record your thoughts about passages in books without defacing them with ink or pencil marks.


Self-Motivation Techniques


  1. Give yourself credit. Ideas are actually a dime a dozen. If you learn to focus your mind on what results you want to achieve, you'll recognize the good ideas. Your mind will become a filter for them, which will motivate you to learn more.
  2. Motivate yourself. Why do you want to learn something? What do want to achieve through learning? If you don't know why you want to learn, then distractions will be far more enticing.
  3. Set a goal. W. Clement Stone once said "Whatever the mind of man can conceive, it can achieve." It's an amazing phenomenon in goal achievement. Prepare yourself by whatever means necessary, and hurdles will seem surmountable. Anyone who has experienced this phenomenon understands its validity.
  4. Think positive. There's no point in setting learning goals for yourself if you don't have any faith in your ability to learn.
  5. Organize, part 2. Learning is only one facet of the average adult's daily life. You need to organize your time and tasks else you might find it difficult to fit time in for learning. Try Neptune for a browser-based application for "getting things done."
  6. Every skill is learned. With the exception of bodily functions, every skill in life is learned. Generally speaking, if one person can learn something, so can you. It may take you more effort, but if you've set a believable goal, it's likely an achievable goal.
  7. Prepare yourself for learning. Thinking positive isn't sufficient for successfully achieving goals. This is especially important if you are an adult, as you'll probably have many distractions surrounding your daily life. Implement ways to reduce distractions, at least for a few hours at a time, else learning will become a frustrating experience.
  8. Prepare yourself, part 2. Human nature is such that not everyone in your life will be a well-wisher in your self-improvement and learning plans. They may intentionally or subconsciously distract you from your goal. If you have classes to attend after work, make sure that work colleagues know this, that you are unable to work late. Diplomacy works best if you think your boss is intentionally giving you work on the days he/she knows you have to leave. Reschedule lectures to a later time slot if possible/ necessary.
  9. Constrain yourself. Most people need structure in their lives. Freedom is sometimes a scary thing. It's like chaos. But even chaos has order within. By constraining yourself — say giving yourself deadlines, limiting your time on an idea in some manner, or limiting the tools you are working with — you can often accomplish more in less time.


Supplemental Techniques


  1. Read as much as you can. How much more obvious can it get? Use Spreeder (#33) if you have to. Get a breadth of topics as well as depth.
  2. Cross-pollinate your interests. Neurons that connect to existing neurons give you new perspectives and abilities to use additional knowledge in new ways.
  3. Learn another language. New perspectives give you the ability to cross-pollinate cultural concepts and come up with new ideas. As well, sometimes reading a book in its original language will provide you with insights lost in translation.
  4. Learn how to learn. Management Help has a resource page, as does SIAST (Virtual Campus), which links to articles about learning methods. They are geared towards online learning, but no doubt you gain something from them for any type of learning. If you are serious about optimum learning, read Headrush's Crash course in learning theory.
  5. Learn what you know and what you don't. Many people might say, "I'm dumb," or "I don't know anything about that." The fact is, many people are wholly unaware of what they already know about a topic. If you want to learn about a topic, you need to determine what you already know, figure out what you don't know, and then learn the latter.
  6. Multi-task through background processes. Effective multi-tasking allows you to bootstrap limited time to accomplish several tasks. Learning can be bootstrapped through multi-tasking, too. By effective multitasking, I don't mean doing two or more things at exactly the same time. It's not possible. However, you can achieve the semblance of effective multitasking with the right approach, and by prepping your mind for it. For example, a successful freelance writer learns to manage several articles at the same time. Research the first essay, and then let the background processes of your mind takeover. Move on consciously to the second essay. While researching the second essay, the first one will often "write itself." Be prepared to record it when it "appears" to you.
  7. Think holistically. Holistic thinking might be the single most "advanced" learning technique that would help students. But it's a mindset rather than a single technique.
  8. Use the right type of repetition. Complex concepts often require revisting in order to be fully absorbed. Sometimes, for some people, it may actually take months or years. Repetition of concepts and theory with various concrete examples improves absorption and speeds up learning.
  9. Apply the Quantum Learning (QL) model. The Quantum Learning model is being applied in some US schools and goes beyond typical education methods to engage students.
  10. Get necessary tools. There are obviously all kinds of tools for learning. If you are learning online like a growing number of people these days, then consider your online tools. One of the best tools for online research is the Firefox web browser, which has loads of extensions (add-ons) with all manner of useful features. One is Googlepedia, which simultaneously displays Google search engine listings, when you search for a term, with related entries from Wikipedia.
  11. Get necessary tools, part 2. This is a very niche tip, but if you want to learn fast-track methods for building software, read Getting Real from 37 Signals. The Web page version is free. The techniques in the book have been used to create Basecamp, Campfire, and Backpack web applications in a short time frame. Each of these applications support collaboration and organization.
  12. Learn critical thinking. As Keegan-Michael Key's character on MadTV might say, critical thinking takes analysis to "a whole notha level". Read Wikipedia's discourse on critical thinking as a starting point. It involves good analytical skills to aid the ability to learn selectively.
  13. Learn complex problem solving. For most people, life is a series of problems to be solved. Learning is part of the process. If you have a complex problem, you need to learn the art of complex problem solving. [The latter page has some incredible visual information.]


For Teachers, Tutors, and Parents


  1. Be engaging. Lectures are one-sided and often counter-productive. Information merely heard or witnessed (from a chalkboard for instance) is often forgotten. Teaching is not simply talking. Talking isn't enough. Ask students questions, present scenarios, engage them.
  2. Use information pyramids. Learning happens in layers. Build base knowledge upon which you can add advanced concepts.
  3. Use video games. Video games get a bad rap because of certain violent games. But video games in general can often be an effective aid to learning.
  4. Role play. Younger people often learn better by being part of a learning experience. For example, history is easier to absorb through reenactments.
  5. Apply the 80/20 rule. This rule is often interpreted in dfferent ways. In this case, the 80/20 rule means that some concepts, say about 20% of a curriculum, require more effort and time, say about 80%, than others. So be prepared to expand on complex topics.
  6. Tell stories. Venus Flytrap, a character from the sitcom WKRP in Cincinnati, once taught a student gang member about atoms, electrons, and protons by saying that an atom was one big neighborhood, and the protons and neutrons had their own smaller neighborhoods and never mixed. Just like rival gangs. The story worked, and understanding sparked in the students eyes.
  7. Go beyond the public school curriculum. The public school system is woefully lacking in teaching advanced learning and brainstorming methods. It's not that the methods cannot be taught; they just aren't. To learn more, you have to pay a premium in additional time and effort, and sometimes money for commercially available learning tools. There's nothing wrong with that in itself, but what is taught in schools needs to be expanded. This article's author has proven that a nine-year old can learn (some) university level math, if the learning is approached correctly.
  8. Use applied learning. If a high school student were having trouble in math, say with fractions, one example of applied learning might be photography, lenses, f-stops, etc. Another example is cooking and measurement of ingredients. Tailor the applied learning to the interest of the student.


For Students and Self-Studiers


  1. Be engaged. Surprise. Sometimes students are bored because they know more than is being taught, maybe even more than a teacher. (Hopefully teachers will assess what each student already knows.) Students should discuss with a teacher if they feel that the material being covered is not challenging. Also consider asking for additional materials.
  2. Teach yourself. Teachers cannot always change their curricula. If you're not being challenged, challenge yourself. Some countries still apply country-wide exams for all students. If your lecturer didn't cover a topic, you should learn it on your own. Don't wait for someone to teach you. Lectures are most effective when you've pre-introduced yourself to concepts.
  3. Collaborate. If studying by yourself isn't working, maybe a study group will help.
  4. Do unto others: teach something. The best way to learn something better is to teach it to someone else. It forces you to learn, if you are motivated enough to share your knowledge.
  5. Write about it. An effective way to "teach" something is to create an FAQ or a wiki containing everything you know about a topic. Or blog about the topic. Doing so helps you to realize what you know and more importantly what you don't. You don't even have to spend money if you grab a freebie account with Typepad, Wordpress, or Blogger.
  6. Learn by experience. Pretty obvious, right? It means put in the necessary time. An expert is often defined as someone who has put in 10,000 hours into some experience or endeavor. That's approximately 5 years of 40 hours per week, every week. Are you an expert without realizing it? If you're not, do you have the dedication to be an expert?
  7. Quiz yourself. Testing what you've learned will reinforce the information. Flash cards are one of the best ways, and are not just for kids.
  8. Learn the right things first. Learn the basics. Case in point: a frustrating way to learn a new language is to learn grammar and spelling and sentence constructs first. This is not the way a baby learns a language, and there's no reason why an adult or young adult has to start differently, despite "expert" opinion. Try for yourself and see the difference.
  9. Plan your learning. If you have a long-term plan to learn something, then to quote Led Zeppelin, "There are two paths you can go by." You can take a haphazard approach to learning, or you can put in a bit of planning and find an optimum path. Plan your time and balance your learning and living.


Parting Advice


  1. Persist. Don't give up learning in the face of intimdating tasks. Anything one human being can learn, most others can as well. Wasn't it Einstein that said, "Genius is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration"? Thomas Edison said it, too.
  2. Defy the experts. Dyslexia, in a nutshell, is the affliction of mentally jumbling letters and digits, causing difficulties in reading, writing and thus learning. Sometimes spoken words or numbers get mixed up as well. In the past, "experts" declared dyslexic children stupid. Later, they said they were incapable of learning. This author has interacted with and taught dyslexic teens. It's possible. Helen Keller had no experience of sight, sound, or speech, and yet she learned. Conclusion: There is more than one way to learn; never believe you cannot.
  3. Challenge yourself. People are often more intelligent than they realize. In a world that compartmentalizes and categorizes everything, not everyone is sure where they fit in. And genius can be found in many walks of life. If you honestly suspect that there's more to you than has been "allowed" to be let out, try an IQ test such as the one offered by MENSA. It's unlike the standardized IQ tests given in many schools. You know the kind — the ones which traumatize many young students into thinking they are stupid, simply because the tests don't really assess all student's knowledge and learning ability. And the ability to learn is far, far more important than what you already know.
  4. Party before an exam. Well, don't go that far. The key is to relax. The worse thing to do is cram the night before an exam. If you don't already know a subject by then, cramming isn't going to help. If you have studied, simply review the topic, then go do something pleasant (no more studying). Doing so tells your brain that you are prepared and that you will be able to recall anything that you have already learned. On the other hand, if you didn't spend the semester learning the ideas you need, you might as well go party anyways because cramming at the last minute isn't going to help much at that point.
  5. Don't worry; learn happy. Have a real passion for learning and want to share that? Join a group such as the Joyful Jubilant Learning community [via LifeHack].


Sources For This Article


This is only a partial list of sources, focusing only on Web sites. Many of the ideas presented above come from long years of experience, with information gleaned from dozens of books and tapes on learning and, more recently, Web sites. The Web sites below either present original articles related to the ideas above, or summaries of ideas with links to other Web sites. In the latter case, such Web sites have likely been linked above. Book sources have either been long forgotten or mentioned above.






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21 October 2007

In life it is likely you will experience many setbacks. There will be times when everything seems to go wrong, and you feel like just giving up. These are the times you will feel at your lowest point, lacking self confidence and self esteem. However adversity does not have to be this way. The truth is, everyone experiences temporary setbacks in life, but it is how you deal with those moments that ultimately define who you are, and how they affect you.


Persisting In The Face Of Adversity

Every man or woman who has achieved great things have all experienced setbacks and times when everything seemed lost, but their ability to persist in the face of those adversities saw them through and made them who they were.


In my experience I have found many times over, that every time I felt like giving in, but kept going anyway, I soon succeeded in whatever I was trying to do. It was like the universe was testing me to see if I really wanted it.


Every Cloud Has A Silver Lining

I think one of the most important lessons I have learnt in life is to try and see the good in every situation and stay positive.


Of course I would prefer if bad things didn’t happen to me, but when they do, I try and learn from them and use those experiences to make me a stronger person.


It’s often said that people succeed through failure, and its true. The more you fail in life the more you will learn and the quicker you will succeed. However you will only succeed if you persist through the hard times, and keep going no matter what happens.


Never Give Up

Life is full of surprises, and despite our best efforts we will all have to experience adversities at some point. However often within these adversities lie valuable and important lessons from which we can learn and use to make us a better and stronger person.You should therefore decide in advance to never ever give up, no matter what happens to you. Then let each setback motivate you forward to greater achievement, rather than letting it pull you back and prevent you from reaching your true potential. If you are able to do this, and persist no matter what happens, in the end there will be nothing that can stop you.



Original: http://www.eruptingmind.com/importance-of-persistence/

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18 October 2007
Have you ever been miserable? Did you know why you were miserable? Misery is caused by lazy people. Lazy people are people who have to depend on others to survive. I am not talking about children, elderly or handicapped people, but fully functional humans who through lack of desire cause misery.

There are inseparable links that exist between productivity and happiness. The links between work and prosperity are obvious, yet too many people live without their earned pleasure. The deprivation of happiness is an unnecessary tragedy due to the altruistic guilt induced into the value producing individual.

Pleasure and happiness depend on psychological health, which in turn depend on productive work. Without productive work, the production of values, psychological health is impossible. Production of competitive values is the integrating growth dynamic for conscious individuals. Production of values provides freedom, prosperity, pleasure and abiding happiness. Moreover; happiness and pleasure act as the motivators for an individual to produce values and to increase ones productivity.

On the other hand, non-productive and destructive people fear and hate productive people. They resent being reminded of what they could be if they only applied themselves. So, rather than become productive individuals they would rather destroy what others have earned. This is called envy, and is a direct result of laziness. The meaning of laziness is the abdication of self responsibility. The mechanism of laziness is the yielding to actions of least effort. This results in incompetence and lost potential. Conscious beings cannot live, prosper, or be happy through actions of the least effort. This loss then forces the lazy person into having to attack the value producer in order to survive.

The attacks come subtly, by the envier creating half truths and propaganda about all people being equal and so those who have should give to the have not’s. By forcing the value producing members of society to surrender their earned values to those who won’t earn them, the lazy propagate a myth and thus make a living from the efforts of others. For those who wont surrender their value for the greater good, physical force is then used where psychological trickery failed. This is one of the main causes of misery in this world, and it is a root source of all that holds back the human race.

The lazy person has to create their own illusion of self worth by continually usurping the values created and earned by others. They take or destroy the values, rights and property of the productive person. Then to continue their illusion of pseudo self worth they have to continue to attack the productive people. These fake illusions then allow them to live off the efforts of the productive value producers. The misery comes when they realize, even subconsciously, that they are dependent on others for survival, and so are unable to earn self esteem.

Without self esteem people are unable to earn and achieve prosperity, pleasure, love, or happiness. Also not having any earned values means they hold no genuine power. Without this power they have to resort to force to fill the void of powerlessness. Ultimately these actions, created by trying to take the least action, cause misery to all the people concerned or affected by the lazy person.

Laziness is a social ill, one that can easily be “cured” just by the realization that it exists. A person must stop being lazy by recognizing the simple fact; that productivity is the building block for prosperity, and lasting happiness.

There are all sorts of scientific principles that point to the evidence that once a body is in motion it tends to remain in motion, and that an action was needed to start that body in motion. We won’t get in to a long discourse here as you should have learned it in the 8th grade. What we need to make the point on is this: You must take action, not the course of least action, but the most productive action you can.

Having a dream, goals and taking the action needed to realize them will bring you a happy and prosperous life. Failure to act, even the default of not having any desire beyond immediate physical needs, will result in misery. Not just your misery but it will cause misery to all those around you.

So find out your dream, and work to make it reality.


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15 August 2007
Why do we need deadlines when we’re setting goals? How important are they and what do we need to know about them? Here are five key tips to help you get deadlines into perspective.

Tip #1. Every major goal needs a deadline. Why? Because if you don’t know when you need to get to your goal, then how do you know how long to spend on each step? A time plan is just as important as an action plan.

Tip #2. Every step along the way needs its own deadline. If you are breaking your major goals down into chunks, or action steps; and you should be; then each one of those steps needs its own time limit, so that you know exactly how long to spend on it.

Tip #3. Deadlines must be realistic. Goal setters tend to fall into two types; stretchers and plodders. The stretchers are the ones constantly pushing themselves to do better, do more, go faster. Stretchers tend to set very tight deadlines that put them under pressure. This gives them satisfaction because they are always competing against themselves.

Plodders take the slow and steady approach and set long deadlines that they know they can hit. They don’t thrive on pressure; they would rather be sure of success.

Whichever type you are all you need to do is make sure that your deadline takes into account your abilities, your available time and all the other things you need to do in your life. Don’t aim to write your novel by the end of the week, if you have to spend 12 hours a day looking after your young children. Be realistic.

Tip #4. Be tough on your small deadlines, but more flexible on your big ones. In many ways, hitting the time targets on your individual action steps is more important than hitting the deadline on your major goal. Here’s why.

If you are too laid back about getting each action done, you start to get laid back about the whole plan and before you know it, you’ll be making excuses, getting distracted and watching your great dream fade into the distance. If you allow every action step to overrun, then the final deadline will be massively extended and might never happen.

Push yourself to meet your short term aims and you’ll be amazed at how much more satisfaction, self esteem and extra motivation you’ll gain each time you cross off a step along the way.

Tip #5. Be prepared to move the final deadline. If you can be disciplined about the little time goals, then don’t worry too much if the major deadline is a little late. It can be tough at the outset to accurately predict how long your big goals will take. You can’t foresee every setback or change of plan. Missing a major deadline is not a failure, provided you have consistently taken action since day one and provided you still have your goal in sight.

Keep doing what you’re doing. You’ll be there real soon and never forget that wherever you are now, you’ve come a huge distance from where you started. And will all that said I hope our website admin Glen gets the new planned website upgrade rolling soon!

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11 August 2007
Have you ever asked yourself “why do some people just find it so easy to talk” I have stood back so many times and just watched people talk. They looked so natural. It seemed so easy for them.

As for public speakers – well they were just in another league. How could they just stand there in front of so many people and the words flow out of their mouths so easily, the confidence they oozed.

It just wasn’t fair. How did I end up with the stumbling, speechless mouth?

This was my belief for many years. That was until I started to really really want to conquer this communication thing. I wanted to find out why I was different. I started searching and asking questions and found that I wasn’t so different.

Most public speakers I have talked to said they were so nervous before they did their speech, even the ones I thought were brilliant, I overheard asking for reassurance as they left the podium “was I ok, did you hear the bit when………., I stuffed that up” etc etc.

As for one on one conversations when someone knew no one, I found out that people usually have 2 or 3 key questions they ask before the conversation starts to flow. For example, hi I’m ……… do you mind if I join you? Or hi I’m …………. isn’t this a great party/meeting/event ……..……

So I started to really, really listen and observe how people looked so natural. I slowly stepped forward and started talking, I built up my confidence and soon talking became so much more natural. I reflected back and realized the following:

I had put all the fear in to my own head. There were many people who felt the same way.

I asked myself these key questions. What am I afraid of. What is the worst thing that can happen if I speak up?

I thought back to my childhood, what had happened all that time ago that could have affected me for so long. It was quite simple really. As a child I was told “children should be seen and not heard”. I was raised in a family where we were not allowed to have an opinion as children and if we said anything, “out of line” we were punished!

So I learned to “shut up”.

Fast forward to adulthood, in my subconscious I still had the thought that if I said the wrong thing at the wrong time then it would cause conflict. I am still not a confrontational person, I love peace not war.

So instead of saying the wrong thing, I said nothing. In a group or big crowd, I would so want to contribute so badly, but my fear kept me paralyzed. Until I asked myself those key questions What am I afraid of? What is the worst thing that can happen?

So I stepped outside of my comfort zone and took the first step. I opened my mouth and talked!! I have never looked back. Now I can speak up in front of people, even in a crowd. Saying that though, I still do not speak up if I feel there will be confrontation. This is something I still need to learn to deal with and feel comfortable with. I have no hesitation now asking a question or becoming involved in any conversation that I feel comfortable in. In fact I am finding it fun and surprising myself by becoming quite the chatterbox!!

So ask yourself “why can’t I say what I really want to say”? It is only sounds coming out of your mouth that make words

Are you afraid of the words, or are you afraid of the consequence and what may occur if you say what you really want to?

Ask yourself “what is the worst thing that can happen if I say this?” Expect the best outcome (9/10 times the worst never ever happens) and

Face your fear.

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28 July 2007

Many people feel nervous and shy when they have to make conversation with others, especially when they don't know they very well. Does this happen to you, especially when you are trying to make small talk with someone?

Once you start to criticize yourself in your mind, your ability to make conversation successfully will go down hill very quickly.

What can you do to improve your conversation confidence?

One of the best ways to become more confident at making conversation is to notice what negative messages you are sending yourself about your conversation ability.

You may have negative messages to yourself that are very automatic, that start appearing in your mind as soon as you say anything that you think is less than perfect.

Notice exactly what you are saying to yourself. Only then can you fight back against your negative messages by putting new positive messages in their place.

Pay attention to your negative self thoughts. Write them down so you can examine them. Chances are that your messages to yourself are very critical. For example, you may be mentally calling yourself names like “loser” and “idiot”.

Why would you do this? This may be a habit you have developed because you have low self esteem. Or you may be simply repeating the kinds of words your parents often said to you.

Why would you put yourself down this way and repeat this harsh criticism to yourself?

The real reason is that some part of your mind thinks that by criticizing you harshly with such negative words you will change your behavior and suddenly become a confident, competent person.

Does this technique actually work? No! If you have been criticizing yourself this way in the past, you already know that it does not make you perform better. In fact, all this negative internal criticism will only make you more nervous, more shy, more awkward, more embarrassed and more tongue-tied.

And this negative self criticism will not bring you one step closer to becoming a popular, relaxed confident person who can talk easily with anybody.

So, how can you switch your mind to a more positive way of thinking so that your confidence and your conversation performance will actually improve?

There are several different ways to do this, and you may benefit from using more than one method.

One good method to use as a starting point is to counteract the actual content of what you are telling yourself when you say those negative criticisms. You counteract your negative automatic thoughts using positive logical statements.

Here’s an example. Suppose that while you were having a conversation with somebody, you just said mentally to yourself, “I’m such a loser. I never say anything right. Every thing I say sounds so stupid. These people must all think I’m an idiot. No wonder no one ever likes me.”

These are certainly very negative statements to use on yourself. Will such negative thoughts help you to perform better in the future? Will they give you the confidence you need to relax and enjoy talking with other people? No they won’t!

And they are not even realistic statements. They are not based on real facts. They are just very negative, automatic statements that have become a habit for you. So change this way of thinking!

First, tell yourself to stop thinking the negative thoughts. Give your mind a clear signal to stop. You can simply say "Stop" to yourself. Say to yourself, "I will no longer make such negative statements to myself. I will search for a better, more positive message to send to myself in the future."

Here’s an example you can use:

"I just noticed that I’m automatically saying all those negative things to myself again. I called myself an idiot over and over again. But am I really an idiot? That’s just name calling. I’m not really an idiot. I’m actually smart in a lot of ways. Do I really say stupid things all the time? I probably say stupid things once in a while, but not any more often than everybody else does. I don’t know whether other people think I’m an idiot or not. I’m not really a mind reader. And I guess if some people sometimes think I sometimes say stupid things, it’s unfortunate, but it’s not really the end of the world."

"When I tell myself that nobody could like me, once again I'm making negative statements where I exaggerate and think that I really know what other people are thinking. I don't know for sure whether all other people like me or not. It’s more logical to think that some people like me and some people don’t. All I can do is to try to be myself."

When you consistently retrain yourself to change your negative thoughts about the way you perform when you are talking with others with positive thoughts, you will become much more relaxed and confident when you make conversation with others.

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22 July 2007

Have you ever been called stupid and felt that it was true at one point or another? Well, don't be intimidated by what other people believe, because intelligence has many different meanings. People often define an intellectual person to be strongly analytical and highly educated, but in fact this is just another broad generalization of what it means to be intelligent.

So, What excatly is intelligence?
A Harvard professor named Dr. Howard Gardner has spent many years studying the topic of intelligence in human beings. As a result of his studies, Dr. Gardner has proposed that our current beliefs about intelligence should be revised and expanded.

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He has suggested we consider at least seven different forms of intelligence.

1) verbal-linguistic

People who have a strong linguistic-verbal intelligence will respond in a deep way to language and words. They love the way that language sounds and the way that words can be put together to create moods and special effects. A person who is high in linguistic intelligence will get a deep sense of meaning and pleasure from the way that language is used. Writers, poets, rappers, and editors have a very high degree of linguistic or verbal intelligence. People who exhibit a strong need to correct errors in grammar are also very strong in this trait.

2) logical-mathematical

People with logical-mathematical intelligence are logical and systematic. They are are very good at analyzing data and they can follow complex chains of ideas to reach a logical conclusion. These people favor reason over passion. People with logical-mathematical intelligence can become successful lawyers, mathematicians, computer programmers, and scientists.

3) visual-spatial

Artists, decorators, fashion designers, sculptors, photographers and architects must possess strong visual-spatial intelligence to succeed in their fields. Among people who have this trait, some will have a glorious, passionate understanding of color. Others will very strongly respond to visual line, texture, or three-dimensional space.

4) musical

A person with musical intelligence may not necessarily play or compose music, but he will be always be a passionate lover of music, getting far more out of the experience than an average person. Musical intelligence is an ability to understand and respond to music, not just as background noise, but with a capacity to get deep meaning from the interaction of melodies, textures and rhythms.

5) bodily-kinesthetic

Bodily-kinesthetic intelligence is very high in those people who are athletes and dancers. It is also a great asset in actors. These people are extremely attuned to where all parts of their body are located in space and are able to exert very subtle yet powerful control over all their muscles.

6) social-interpersonal

People with a high degree of interpersonal intelligence are good at picking up cues to the emotions of others and understanding the emotional states of those around them. They are particularly good at empathizing with others, and they know how to comfort, inspire and lead people. This is a good trait to have in a political leader. It is also a desirable quality in teachers, therapists and salespeople.

7) intra-personal

Intra-personal intelligence is the ability to deeply know and understand oneself. It is the ability to analyze and assess one’s innermost qualities and behaviors. This is a form of intelligence that may be found in philosophers and spiritual leaders.


The test most frequently used today to measure intelligence is called the Stanford Binet Intelligence Test. A person with an IQ score of 100 is considered to be of average intelligence, while a person with an IQ above 130 is deemed to be intellectually gifted.

Although the IQ test is very widely used, does having a high IQ score guarantee success in later life? No, it doesn’t! It doesn’t even guarantee success in school.

Unfortunantly, industries such as Boieng, Bristol, NAV Canada, or any other industries that require you to have a vast ammount of aptitude level still require the use of IQ/Aptitude test. That is because in our current world, an aptitude for reading, logic and mathematics has been defined as 'synonymous' with intelligence. When you take an IQ test, this narrow range of abilities is what is measured, and then the score is said to be a measure of your intelligence.

So if you happen to do poorly at logic and language because your skills are elsewhere, these tests and our school systems may label you as a moron.

Standard intelligence tests focus a lot on exploring and measuring a person’s ability to understand logic, language and mathematics. But is that really the same as intelligence? No, its not!

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There was a show I was watching a few months ago on BBC or TLC that tracked down some of the people with the highest IQ scores in North America. And guess what... one of them wasn't a doctor, a pilot, an engineer etc... No! This man works as a motorcycle mechanic. He hangs out with biker gangs and is frequently in and out of jail. Another worked as a bouncer in a bar for ten years. This man, who by virtue of his IQ score is a genius, and yet earns minimum wage, and lives in a tiny garage.

So what does this say about having a high IQ? Clearly, a high IQ is not enough to guarantee success in life. What IQ tests measure is a certain type of potential. That potential still needs to be developed and nurtured by the person who has it. And not everyone who has a potential talent also possesses the desire to do something with it.

Being creative, optimistic, and flexible are most important hallmarks of many successful people. Common sense, the ability to get along with other people, and knowing a good idea when you see one, may be more useful qualities than having a genius IQ.

So, don't let your IQ score hold you back! There are many other qualities that are necessary to contribute to success.

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