21 January 2008
21 January 2008
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You know, as a human bieng, I've been living on this earth for more than 19 years of my life. Iv'e grown to realise that life isn't just fun and games. Life is a chance for us to learn its lessons... to prepare us for whats to come in the life after, if there is a life after. So I made a short thesis type article on life & romance... the most important structure; the most important set of blocks for growing the important set of skills that life has to offer.The one thing we all long to have more than anything else is somebody that understands and feals things the way we do. Human experiance is so indipendent, is so disparet. Everybody out there is looking for somebody they can understand thier point of view, its an arrsicism we gotta have. Theres a very dire and dark saying that goes: "you come in this world alone and your gonna leave this world alone" and the matter fact of the matter is that all we do while were here on this planet is seek ways of connecting with other people, to share experiance, to share this whole thing called life. Its very important that us human biengs have connections to other people whether its guys or girls, you know... its an important part of our life to be connecting with other people. It gives us a sence of meening. People deprived of companionship for long periods of time do show signs of savere mental problems after a while... its just a fact of the matter. You gotta have other people in your life so whats a guy to do? How do you ballance reppor and attraction? (READ MORE)
Well first of all theres alot of guys out there that will tell you: "ohh you gotta build attraction first and then you gotta go into reppor building". The reality is from my experiance... you gotta be doing both all along the way. And theres ways of accomplishing reppor building even while your building attraction with a woman. Attraction is more energetic... Let me introdouce you to an acronim "REAL". Real stands for: Relaxed and Resourcefull, Effective and Energized, Alpha and Authentic, Lifestyle and Lasting. Those ellements make up the lifestyle of a guy whos an Alpha. (He's the leader of the pack, hes the one women are going to be naturaly drawn to becuase of his own internal strengh). Were looking for people in life that we draw from, that we can lean on becuase life it self is dificult alone. Its tough to travel this path and not have somebody to rely on for support every once in a while. Try doing it sometimes even the strongest people in the world have low moments where they get depressed, or they get discouraged, or they just get down on them selfs becuase things arn't going thier way.
Well hey, it happens to me to I hate to tell you guys; I hate to burst the bubble but even guys that are, mr. nowories, mr. happy go lucky do have a few moments here and there where they arn't in tiptop peak emotional capacity. Hey, it happens but you know what, what ive done is, ive figured out ways to make those moments few and far in between. I looked at life and thought... you know as a skill, life is just like everything else. Its something you can build and develop and get better at. For example, if you're a pilot then you know you can get into a plane and you can fly that thing and you can get better at it. Or for you gamers out there, you know you can play a sertain video game and eventually you'll get better at it. So why can't you get better at the game of life? Answer... No reason at all, you can... life is a set of skills, all you gotta do is develop these skills. THats part of what growing up and being a fully developed human bieng is all about. Its learning how to manage your life better. Get better at the skills that make you a stronger alpha male.
Its not just about getting the women, because if your just chasing the women... whats thats really saying is your looking for something thats empty or vacant or a hole inside you and thats whats going to ultimately turn off a woman anyways. So the more you chase the woman the more they run away. Its an irony of the situation that you can't cheat... you cant get passed that. THe more your lacking something inside the less your gonna find it outside. So lets get back to reppor, what the fuck is reppor realy? Repor is that fealing of connection between you and her (basicly what my last ex and I never had), shes gotta have it. A woman has to feal like your on the same level or that you can RELATE to her in some way. This is one of the biggest areas of failure for guys and the whole proccess of getting a connection with a woman.
Connection seems to be the most dificult things for most guys to do... and buillding attraction. Those two skills realy make up most of what Im talking about to get a woman interested in you. Its not about your looks, its not about the ferrari your driving, its not about your high paying corporate executive job, its none of that. What its about is presenting your personal power. YOUR alpha power. And your alpha power is a sence of independance, and non kneeness non-clingness... thats atractive to a woman, thats just one of the attractive qualities... a sence of humor is an immensly attractive quality to woman... your self control, meening your ability not to run her over with your interest in her. Most guys come on to women like bulls out of a gate... its rediculous how someguys think how thier gonna try to attract a woman. What thier not doing and what they should be doing is looking at things through another persons eyes. Look at it through a womans eyes. Even though you may not be able to fully understand or comprehend what its like for a woman and her emotional logic, you can work with it.
For example... I dont know how alot parts work in my ipod but I do know enough of how to press the buttons on the outside to make it do those things on the inside. I don't have to know how the songs are stored, I dont have to know how data's in binary translate to an audio frequency works... all I gotta know is how to hit the buttons on the outside. I could be a stupid white guy in newyork, I just gotta push the buttons and the thing works. You know what the ultumate function is, you know what that thing to do... you don't have to know every single thing about it. I don't have to know the intricate intimate features sets of any particular ipod. Just know how to operate it in general. You press a button, and it plays a song, great! Ok, with women, same thing. Two big buttons you gotta hit, atraction and reppor. With repor, its all about just showing her and authentic personality along with alot of senceraty.
You ever been with somebody that conversation just seems to flow with? You have alot in common and you had similar interest, you had maybe similar backgrounds or grew up in the same area... ok, now these are areas of commonality. This is called REPPOR. You feal like you were instantly friends with this person. Ive been at parties here and there where iv'e met sombody from another place where I use to live. As a matter of fact, she was someone who use to live in ft.garry at the same street as I did, and instantly we had a new level of reppor, we were both farmiliar with that area. It was like... "wow we had something in common" and it makes you feal alittle bit connected to that person. Make sence? So the one tip I can give you right now is gonna give you tenfold to simply this: when your talking to a woman find things you have in common; things that are alike. Doesn't matter if its the school you went to, doesn't matter if its the kind of car your parrents drove; doesn't matter if its the tv shows you both watch; doesnt matter if its the kind of movies you like to see; the music you listen to; the clubs you like to hang out at; you hobbies, maybe you were a painter, maybe your a poet... anyways, your looking for things that are common, things are shared experiance becuase shes already got emotional attachment built up to things that she's experianced in life and so do you. And that emotional attachment you have for something is instantly created as a bond between you and her when you find out you share that thing, becuase emotions start to connect.
Its no longer about the superficial level of... "so, what do you do";"where do you live"... just dont do reppor seaking in an overly eirie sort of way, I guess the best way of saying it is... DONT OVER DO IT. Becuase then it looks like your trying too hard. We talked about this havn't we? The try too hard... he's the guy thats always trying to be your friend, trying to get that connection, try try try try... and he looks like he's trying too hard. And as a result, you suspect his motives. Becuase you know deap down inside this person lacks self asteem. Thier insecure... so again, when theres an infinit number of little components you can throw into this mix of reppor the most important is finding the things that connect both you two, things that are shared experiance. But ther's so much more, the whole senceraty element... the way for presenting your self in a way that you'll want to find reppor. You can get a woman to start seeking reppor with you. IF YOU HANDLE IT CORRECTLY.
Labels: lessons, life, love, Referance, relationship