<body onLoad="MM_preloadImages('http://img469.imageshack.us/img469/9072/linksselectedua2.gif','http://img77.imageshack.us/img77/1656/bg1221bv8.gif','http://img363.imageshack.us/img363/3417/headreplacecw5.gif','http://img488.imageshack.us/img488/4738/headmap202vr8.gif','http://img488.imageshack.us/img488/1488/headmap203ll0.gif','http://img68.imageshack.us/img68/7766/siselectedhc8.gif','http://img234.imageshack.us/img234/5316/societyselectedym8.gif','http://img64.imageshack.us/img64/7161/scienceselectedth9.gif','http://img204.imageshack.us/img204/1478/darktipsselectedqo2.gif','http://img58.imageshack.us/img58/5650/videosselectedmr2.gif','http://img76.imageshack.us/img76/3138/offbeatselecteddd8.gif','http://img359.imageshack.us/img359/863/featuredselectedot0.gif','http://img359.imageshack.us/img359/2808/showallallgs5.gif','http://img69.imageshack.us/img69/8043/btww7.png','http://img361.imageshack.us/img361/6025/announcepl3.gif')"><script type="text/javascript"> function setAttributeOnload(object, attribute, val) { if(window.addEventListener) { window.addEventListener('load', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }, false); } else { window.attachEvent('onload', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }); } } </script> <div id="navbar-iframe-container"></div> <script type="text/javascript" src="https://apis.google.com/js/platform.js"></script> <script type="text/javascript"> gapi.load("gapi.iframes:gapi.iframes.style.bubble", function() { if (gapi.iframes && gapi.iframes.getContext) { gapi.iframes.getContext().openChild({ url: 'https://www.blogger.com/navbar/20807678?origin\x3dhttp://ctrldotlife.blogspot.com', where: document.getElementById("navbar-iframe-container"), id: "navbar-iframe" }); } }); </script>
tracker
All Addiction Health Leadership Learning Management Motivation Relationship Self-esteem Sexuality Socialization
All Academia Economics Enviroment Law Military People Politics
All Aerospace Anthropology Astronomy Environment General-Sci Medicine Meteorology Paranormal Psychology
All Bad-Ideas Consumer-Hacks Exploits General-Hacks Pyrotechnics Weapons
All Documentary Educational Movies Music Podcast Shows Videos Video-Blog 18+
All Art Coding Development Games Opinions Personal Rant Reviews Stories
 Get started by choosing a topic above or reading the article(s) below. You may also visit our featured articles listed here.

21 January 2008

You know, as a human bieng, I've been living on this earth for more than 19 years of my life. Iv'e grown to realise that life isn't just fun and games. Life is a chance for us to learn its lessons... to prepare us for whats to come in the life after, if there is a life after. So I made a short thesis type article on life & romance... the most important structure; the most important set of blocks for growing the important set of skills that life has to offer.
The one thing we all long to have more than anything else is somebody that understands and feals things the way we do. Human experiance is so indipendent, is so disparet. Everybody out there is looking for somebody they can understand thier point of view, its an arrsicism we gotta have. Theres a very dire and dark saying that goes: "you come in this world alone and your gonna leave this world alone" and the matter fact of the matter is that all we do while were here on this planet is seek ways of connecting with other people, to share experiance, to share this whole thing called life. Its very important that us human biengs have connections to other people whether its guys or girls, you know... its an important part of our life to be connecting with other people. It gives us a sence of meening. People deprived of companionship for long periods of time do show signs of savere mental problems after a while... its just a fact of the matter. You gotta have other people in your life so whats a guy to do? How do you ballance reppor and attraction? (READ MORE)

Well first of all theres alot of guys out there that will tell you: "ohh you gotta build attraction first and then you gotta go into reppor building". The reality is from my experiance... you gotta be doing both all along the way. And theres ways of accomplishing reppor building even while your building attraction with a woman. Attraction is more energetic... Let me introdouce you to an acronim "REAL". Real stands for: Relaxed and Resourcefull, Effective and Energized, Alpha and Authentic, Lifestyle and Lasting. Those ellements make up the lifestyle of a guy whos an Alpha. (He's the leader of the pack, hes the one women are going to be naturaly drawn to becuase of his own internal strengh). Were looking for people in life that we draw from, that we can lean on becuase life it self is dificult alone. Its tough to travel this path and not have somebody to rely on for support every once in a while. Try doing it sometimes even the strongest people in the world have low moments where they get depressed, or they get discouraged, or they just get down on them selfs becuase things arn't going thier way.

Well hey, it happens to me to I hate to tell you guys; I hate to burst the bubble but even guys that are, mr. nowories, mr. happy go lucky do have a few moments here and there where they arn't in tiptop peak emotional capacity. Hey, it happens but you know what, what ive done is, ive figured out ways to make those moments few and far in between. I looked at life and thought... you know as a skill, life is just like everything else. Its something you can build and develop and get better at. For example, if you're a pilot then you know you can get into a plane and you can fly that thing and you can get better at it. Or for you gamers out there, you know you can play a sertain video game and eventually you'll get better at it. So why can't you get better at the game of life? Answer... No reason at all, you can... life is a set of skills, all you gotta do is develop these skills. THats part of what growing up and being a fully developed human bieng is all about. Its learning how to manage your life better. Get better at the skills that make you a stronger alpha male.

Its not just about getting the women, because if your just chasing the women... whats thats really saying is your looking for something thats empty or vacant or a hole inside you and thats whats going to ultimately turn off a woman anyways. So the more you chase the woman the more they run away. Its an irony of the situation that you can't cheat... you cant get passed that. THe more your lacking something inside the less your gonna find it outside. So lets get back to reppor, what the fuck is reppor realy? Repor is that fealing of connection between you and her (basicly what my last ex and I never had), shes gotta have it. A woman has to feal like your on the same level or that you can RELATE to her in some way. This is one of the biggest areas of failure for guys and the whole proccess of getting a connection with a woman.

Connection seems to be the most dificult things for most guys to do... and buillding attraction. Those two skills realy make up most of what Im talking about to get a woman interested in you. Its not about your looks, its not about the ferrari your driving, its not about your high paying corporate executive job, its none of that. What its about is presenting your personal power. YOUR alpha power. And your alpha power is a sence of independance, and non kneeness non-clingness... thats atractive to a woman, thats just one of the attractive qualities... a sence of humor is an immensly attractive quality to woman... your self control, meening your ability not to run her over with your interest in her. Most guys come on to women like bulls out of a gate... its rediculous how someguys think how thier gonna try to attract a woman. What thier not doing and what they should be doing is looking at things through another persons eyes. Look at it through a womans eyes. Even though you may not be able to fully understand or comprehend what its like for a woman and her emotional logic, you can work with it.
For example... I dont know how alot parts work in my ipod but I do know enough of how to press the buttons on the outside to make it do those things on the inside. I don't have to know how the songs are stored, I dont have to know how data's in binary translate to an audio frequency works... all I gotta know is how to hit the buttons on the outside. I could be a stupid white guy in newyork, I just gotta push the buttons and the thing works. You know what the ultumate function is, you know what that thing to do... you don't have to know every single thing about it. I don't have to know the intricate intimate features sets of any particular ipod. Just know how to operate it in general. You press a button, and it plays a song, great! Ok, with women, same thing. Two big buttons you gotta hit, atraction and reppor. With repor, its all about just showing her and authentic personality along with alot of senceraty.

You ever been with somebody that conversation just seems to flow with? You have alot in common and you had similar interest, you had maybe similar backgrounds or grew up in the same area... ok, now these are areas of commonality. This is called REPPOR. You feal like you were instantly friends with this person. Ive been at parties here and there where iv'e met sombody from another place where I use to live. As a matter of fact, she was someone who use to live in ft.garry at the same street as I did, and instantly we had a new level of reppor, we were both farmiliar with that area. It was like... "wow we had something in common" and it makes you feal alittle bit connected to that person. Make sence? So the one tip I can give you right now is gonna give you tenfold to simply this: when your talking to a woman find things you have in common; things that are alike. Doesn't matter if its the school you went to, doesn't matter if its the kind of car your parrents drove; doesn't matter if its the tv shows you both watch; doesnt matter if its the kind of movies you like to see; the music you listen to; the clubs you like to hang out at; you hobbies, maybe you were a painter, maybe your a poet... anyways, your looking for things that are common, things are shared experiance becuase shes already got emotional attachment built up to things that she's experianced in life and so do you. And that emotional attachment you have for something is instantly created as a bond between you and her when you find out you share that thing, becuase emotions start to connect.
Its no longer about the superficial level of... "so, what do you do";"where do you live"... just dont do reppor seaking in an overly eirie sort of way, I guess the best way of saying it is... DONT OVER DO IT. Becuase then it looks like your trying too hard. We talked about this havn't we? The try too hard... he's the guy thats always trying to be your friend, trying to get that connection, try try try try... and he looks like he's trying too hard. And as a result, you suspect his motives. Becuase you know deap down inside this person lacks self asteem. Thier insecure... so again, when theres an infinit number of little components you can throw into this mix of reppor the most important is finding the things that connect both you two, things that are shared experiance. But ther's so much more, the whole senceraty element... the way for presenting your self in a way that you'll want to find reppor. You can get a woman to start seeking reppor with you. IF YOU HANDLE IT CORRECTLY.

Labels: , , , ,


20 October 2007
This is my short little summary of Cherie's "10 Rules for bieng Human". Cherie Carter-Scott PhD is a very modern guru. Her theories explain our attitudes and behaviour with a special clarity, and provide a practical guide to behaviour and self development. Dr. Carter-Scott achieved her PhD in human and organisational development and for the nearly 30 years has been an international lecturer, consultant and author.

Carter-Scott's book 'If Life Is A Game, These Are The Rules' is essential reading if you are interested in behaviour, relationships, communications, and human personality. Cherie Carter-Scott's rules for life - also known as 'The Ten Rules For Being Human' and referenced in her book with Jack Canfield: 'Chicken Soup For The Soul' - are a map for understanding and pursuing personal development, and for helping others to understand and develop too. 'If Life Is A Game, These Are The Rules' is also commonly referenced book in the life-coaching industry.

Rule One - You will receive a body. Whether you love it or hate it, it's yours for life, so accept it. What counts is what's inside.

Rule Two - You will be presented with lessons. Life is a constant learning experience, which every day provides opportunities for you to learn more. These lessons specific to you, and learning them 'is the key to discovering and fulfilling the meaning and relevance of your own life'.

Rule Three - There are no mistakes, only lessons. Your development towards wisdom is a process of experimentation, trial and error, so it's inevitable things will not always go to plan or turn out how you'd want. Compassion is the remedy for harsh judgement - of ourselves and others. Forgiveness is not only divine - it's also 'the act of erasing an emotional debt'. Behaving ethically, with integrity, and with humour - especially the ability to laugh at yourself and your own mishaps - are central to the perspective that 'mistakes' are simply lessons we must learn.

Rule Four - The lesson is repeated until learned. Lessons repeat until learned. What manifest as problems and challenges, irritations and frustrations are more lessons - they will repeat until you see them as such and learn from them. Your own awareness and your ability to change are requisites of executing this rule. Also fundamental is the acceptance that you are not a victim of fate or circumstance - 'causality' must be acknowledged; that is to say: things happen to you because of how you are and what you do. To blame anyone or anything else for your misfortunes is an escape and a denial; you yourself are responsible for you, and what happens to you. Patience is required - change doesn't happen overnight, so give change time to happen.

Rule Five - Learning does not end. While you are alive there are always lessons to be learned. Surrender to the 'rhythm of life', don't struggle against it. Commit to the process of constant learning and change - be humble enough to always acknowledge your own weaknesses, and be flexible enough to adapt from what you may be accustomed to, because rigidity will deny you the freedom of new possibilities.

Rule Six - "There" is no better than "here". The other side of the hill may be greener than your own, but being there is not the key to endless happiness. Be grateful for and enjoy what you have, and where you are on your journey. Appreciate the abundance of what's good in your life, rather than measure and amass things that do not actually lead to happiness. Living in the present helps you attain peace.

Rule Seven - Others are only mirrors of you. You love or hate something about another person according to what love or hate about yourself. Be tolerant; accept others as they are, and strive for clarity of self-awareness; strive to truly understand and have an objective perception of your own self, your thoughts and feelings. Negative experiences are opportunities to heal the wounds that you carry. Support others, and by doing so you support yourself. Where you are unable to support others it is a sign that you are not adequately attending to your own needs.

Rule Eight - What you make of your life is up to you. You have all the tools and resources you need. What you do with them is up to you. Take responsibility for yourself. Learn to let go when you cannot change things. Don't get angry about things - bitter memories clutter your mind. Courage resides in all of us - use it when you need to do what's right for you. We all possess a strong natural power and adventurous spirit, which you should draw on to embrace what lies ahead.

Rule Nine - Your answers lie inside of you. Trust your instincts and your innermost feelings, whether you hear them as a little voice or a flash of inspiration. Listen to feelings as well as sounds. Look, listen, and trust. Draw on your natural inspiration.

Rule Ten - You will forget all this at birth. We are all born with all of these capabilities - our early experiences lead us into a physical world, away from our spiritual selves, so that we become doubtful, cynical and lacking belief and confidence. The ten Rules are not commandments, they are universal truths that apply to us all. When you lose your way, call upon them. Have faith in the strength of your spirit. Aspire to be wise - wisdom the ultimate path of your life, and it knows no limits other than those you impose on yourself.


Labels: , , , , , , ,

[Originating Article]

(Show: All Entries | Most Recent)