15 October 2007
15 October 2007
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You've got a problem. There's this girl you absolutely adore - great hair, great laugh, amazing personality, really pretty face - but she's always dated the more 'adept' guys. So how do you get her to like you?The first thing you need to realize is that the things women find attractive about men, are NOT the same things that men find attractive about women. Men, as you know, are very 'visual' beings - it's usually how a girl looks that sets our pulses racing (amongst other things...)
Women, on the other hand, find men attractive because of their personalities. How many surveys have you seen where women place 'sense of humour' as their number one priority when finding a mate? Quite a few I'd bet. A woman's ideal man is an alpha male that is confident and can take the lead, both in life and with her.
"So how do I get her to like me?" you say, "I'm no alpha male." Well, maybe not yet, but you can learn. Like all the good things in life worth learning, it will take effort and time on your part but, I guarantee, it will definitely be worth it.
Here's a tip for getting a girl to like you - Nonchalence.
You need to display non-attachment to whether the girl likes you or not. Great if she does like you, but if not, there are tons of other fish in the sea. Sure, you may not actually feel like that, but that is the 'act' you have got to convincingly sell. You must place a high value on yourself and never come from a position of neediness.
Make friends and hang out with as many women as you can to help eliminate neediness and also date as many women as you can, instead of restricting yourself to that "one special girl". It's a known fact that when a girl sees that other women are attracted to a guy then she will also feel attraction. In psychological circles this is known as the 'social proof' effect. It happens in both men and women, but it's much more powerful in the female of the species.
Of course, this is only one tip on how you get a girl to like you, but it is a very useful one to understand and will go a long way to helping you get that all important first date with the girl you want.
How you should Approach a girl:
You have had the hots for this particular girl for ages, but if you go up to her, you're not quite sure where to go from there. There are a few things you must learn to improve your technique for approaching women, but the single most important one is that of eye contact.
You've seen a girl you like and decide to approach her. The first thing you must do is talk to her. I'm not suggesting this needs to be anything profound. Just simple "Hi. How are you?" will suffice as an opener. Women like conversation. The next thing is eye contact. Now, I don't mean a quick glance for one second and then start staring at the floor whilst shuffling your shoes and looking all bashful. That my friend, is not eye contact.
Women love the eyes. They are the portals to your sole, and the first indication that a women gets of a male's desire for her. You would be surprised at how little people maintain 'proper' eye contact these days, so when you do it will have a marked impact on her, and also on how she now sees you. Eye contact is very important. There is nothing complicated about it, but do not stop once you've started (obviously don't stop blinking otherwise you've now entered a staring competition and that will COMPLETELY freak her out!)
Look into her eyes. Notice the colour. Pay attention to the size of her pupils. If they are dilated (large) then she likes you. This is a reflex action on her part, letting in more light and therefore more of you! By keeping eye contact you can see (no pun intended...) that not only are you impressing upon her your desire to be with her and talk to her, but you are also getting vital clues on how she feels about you.
So, now you know part of the technique of how to approach girls. Check my other articles for advice on what to do after the approach, and when you are on your first date.
What us girls look for in a man:
There's no magical formula or 'mystery method' to improving your chances of attracting women, despite what you might read. There are a number of things you can do to dramatically improve your chances of pulling women you never thought possible.
- Have a Sense of Humour
I guarantee that every survey you read about what women want from a man, will have 'sense of humour' somewhere in the top 3. Don't imagine that women want the same things as you want from a woman. Having a good sense of humour is very important. Making a woman laugh or smile will release those "feel good chemicals" and she'll start to get hooked!
- Be Thoughtful without becoming just another friend
Don't ask me why, but most women like a guy with a bit of an edge to him. You've seen the movies. The guy who does everything for the girl always ends up becoming the "best friend". It's a fine line to tread, and I'm not saying don't hold doors open, but just be aware of what you're doing. If she begins, "You know Jim, I really like hanging out with you and having a laugh" you've gone too far into the friend zone. Retreat if you can.
- Learn the art of conversation
Girls like to be looked at, as it makes them feel attractive and wanted. However, if all you do is gawp at your date from across the other side of the table it won't be long before she's leaving, or worse! How do you entertain with you conversation? Get yourself something to talk about. This weekend, don't spend it surfing the net or watching TV, go and do something interesting. Now, it doesn't have to be hot air ballooning or paragliding (although these are great if you have the chance), but it might be taking in a show for example. Even better if you can find out what interests your prospective date has, and get some experiences in something she will enjoy talking about.
Labels: all, featured, lifeline, love, relationship, socialization
July 2005
