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Do you ever have trouble making conversation with others even though you consider yourself to be an intelligent person? If so, you may wonder why you are so poor at making conversation with others, even though you are very smart, and know a lot of interesting things. The truth is that many average people with average intelligence and average interests are much better at making small talk and have better social skills than people who are very intelligent. And many people who are very intelligent are extremely poor at making small talk conversation and may have poor social skills.
Why should this be?
1.) They may be perfectionists. These people may have very high expectations of themselves about everything they do. When they think they have failed at anything, they judge themselves very harshly. If they think they are failing at small talk, they just get even more nervous and tongue tied. Their harsh self judgment makes them so anxious that they cannot relax and simply enjoy being with other people.
2.) People who are very smart may have spent most of their life trying to become very intellectually developed, but sometimes they neglect to develop their social and emotional side. They may feel that developing their social and emotional side is not very important, or they may feel that it is too late to try learn these new difficult skills.
3. ) They may be very serious people and believe that they should only spend their time thinking about serious matters and talking about serious matters. They may believe that talking about unimportant things is a waste of time. This makes them get bored very quickly with small talk that doesn’t seem to lead anywhere.
4. ) In some cases, people who are smarter than average actually feel superior to others and believe they should not have to waste their time with average people having average conversations. They may really truly be snobs at heart.
5. ) Many very intelligent people suffer from extreme shyness or from poor self esteem. This may cause them to feel that they have nothing interesting or worthwhile to contribute to a conversation.
6. ) Some very intelligent people, particularly those who are strong in achedemics may have a condition called 'Asperger’s syndrome'. (Cite: Video/Wiki) This condition which is believed to be related to autism. Often, the person who has some degree of Asperger’s is extremely good at focusing on a scientific topic, but is unable to understand the kinds of social interactions that most other people take for granted. People with Asperger’s may talk in a rigid, mechanical way, and be uninterested in other people’s emotional lives.
Labels: all, featured, lifeline, opinion, socializing, thoughts, tips, vent
July 2005
