Almost everybody feels shy at one time or another.In fact, only about 7% of the population claims that they never feel shy. For the rest of us, shyness can range from being an occasional, minor inconvenience, to being a major problem.

Some people are afflicted with a degree of shyness so severe that it is almost disabling. This type of acute shyness is not only very painful to experience, but it can have devastating effects on a person’s social life, happiness, and career.

Severe shyness is a complex mix of biology, upbringing, traumatic experiences, and negative self-talk. Severe shyness can co-exist with other debilitating psychological conditions such as low self-esteem, perfectionism, depression and anxiety.

Extreme shyness can take many forms, and can show up differently in different people. Some very shy people have problems being in large gatherings, yet they may feel comfortable in small groups. Some shy people only feel acute discomfort with persons they have just met, while others are never comfortable around people, even those they have known a long time.

People who suffer from severe shyness often end up very lonely, may never marry, and have few friends. Psychiatrists and psychologists use the term "social anxiety disorder" to describe extremely debilitating shyness. There isn’t complete agreement about whether severe, disabling social anxiety disorder is simply a more severe type of shyness, or whether it is another type of disorder altogether.

Getting over your Shyness
Some very shy people are able to overcome their fears by learning better social skills and practicing them frequently in social situations. Many also find it useful to gain some measure of control over their uncomfortable physical reactions such as sweating and trembling, by using special relaxation techniques and bio-feedback training.

One way that many people who are very shy choose to deal with their social anxiety is to simply avoid any social situations that might trigger their discomfort. This may mean turning down invitations to parties and other social events, crossing the street in order to avoid running into someone they know, and even turning down promotions at work.

Although avoiding the feared situation may seem to the shy person like the perfect solution, it actually makes the problem worse in the long run. Every time a shy person chooses to avoid social interaction, he reinforces in his mind how much he fears dealing with other people. By choosing the short-term benefit of avoiding his anxious feelings, he reinforces the power that his fear holds over him

Psychologists who specialize in the treatment of shyness disorders have discovered that avoiding social situations can actually make the problem worse. Many psychologists who treat people aflicted by shyness recommend a program of repeated and gradually increasing exposure to the feared situation, combined with helping the client learn new ways of thinking.

In some cases, certain prescription medications can help control the feelings of extreme anxiety that they experience when they are around others.

If your shyness is very severe, you can benefit from seeing a therapist who has proven effectiveness in successfully treating shyness. Not all forms of psychotherapy have been proven effective in treating shyness.

Those forms of therapy where the patient relives past traumas and digs deeply into past relationships are not particularly helpful for overcoming shyness.

The types of therapy that seem to have the best track record for overcoming shyness are cognitive therapy and behavioral therapy.

Both of these types of therapy concentrate on dealing with the present, and teaching the patient new ways of thinking and behaving when they are around others.

Labels: all, featured, lifeline, psychology, socializing, tips